Blogs is bustin' out all over

Well, it's official. I write one funny e-mail.

I have been chosen to blog for BreakupGirl.net. Though it was based on my e-mails, not on my submitted blog posts, which they felt were forced. Of course they were forced. I don't perform well under pressure. I don't test well. But luckily I write one crazy-good e-mail and that's how they want me to write for them. So now I'm a professional blogger. Please don't feel like a lesser person in my presence. Not everyone can be as great as the old Buckster. (No. Seriously. You can't all be me.)

Anyway, you can read one of my seriously lame sample posts (they were lame...I was rushing and tired from all the crazy-long work days) below:

Title: Love on a Billboard (Or, All you need to know about romance can be found in Top 40 songs)

The floor and the club are in and the bed is out, according to a Breakup Girl in depth examination of the 10 songs that top the Billboard charts this week. (And by in depth, we mean listening to that little snippet they let you hear on iTunes as a teaser.)

Apparently the best places for making love in a pop song are anywhere but the traditional, and coincidentally most comfortable location, the bed.

The poor bed can't get a break. In "Touch My Body," Mariah Carey demands the floor (though admittedly, in a throwback to old school ways, she also asks for the bed). In "Love in the Club"...well, you can guess where Usher and Young Jeezy want to do it. And we can't really tell you where Lil Wayne wants to go, because this is not an X-rated site and all his lyrics are.

But pop songs aren't just about location. According to professors Joe Kotarba and Phillip Vannini in their book "Understanding Society through Popular Music," pop music is one of the most important sources of culture in our society.

To that end, we provide you with all you need to know about our society based on the Billboard Top 10:

1) Wrestling around on the floor? Good
2) Being so in love with someone, your friends think you've lost your mind and try to intervene? Uh, good?
3) Four minutes is the maximum amount of time you can give someone who is Madonna or Justin Timberlake to explain what you want to do to them? Neither good nor bad.
4) Dressing and wearing your hair like your man? Good.
5) Making love in the club? Definitely good!
6) Taking it to the floor? Even better!
7) Trying to breath without air? Very bad.
8) Making someone fall so in love with you they don't need money or cars? Only good if they give those things to you.
9) Asking for a love song because you need one? BAD! Don't ever do it again.
10) Dressing like a pornography poster? Oh Yeah.