Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Dadadum, Dadachum

I know it's not the end of the week, when I usually write, and I've only watched four episodes of Homicide: Life on the Streets and no movies. But I have finished one book and the end of that book and the beginning of its sequel is the reason I'm writing today.

Today is a very sad day for me...oh my god! It's the 19th!!!! It's the 19th!!!!.....oh. Yeah, uhm. Well, that's a reference only people who have read the series will get. Let's just pretend none of this happened and move quickly on.

As I was saying this is a very sad day as it marks my beginning the final book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series, a series that I have now been reading for almost 20 years. (If I actually counted, I'd probably find that it was exactly 19 years.) If we're being honest with ourselves - and if you can't be honest on the Internet, then let's face it, where can honesty be found? - it is mostly HIS fault that it's taken me this long, because it took him so damn long to finish his seven-book opus. But it's also a little my fault as I was slower returning to the series once he did finish it. And I had to go back and re-read the first four books because I'd pretty much forgotten everything about them, except for: 1) A few moments (not even whole scenes) that were un-naturally vivid, and 2) That I loved those books more than anything else he has written...more than most books I've read, actually. I even named one of my dogs Roland, after the gunslinger, the main character.

So today I begin The Dark Tower, book seven of the series that bears the same name and it makes me so excited, and at the same time so sad to think this story is finally coming to a close. But as he says himself in the opening words to the Constant Reader,not even Stephen King can make something last forever.

I know that I can always reread a book and I actually have several months of reading ahead of me (the book weighs a ton). And I also know it's silly to feel this way about fictional characters. But at times fiction can move me more than the world around me and the characters share intimate thoughts that real people never do. I'll be melancholy for a while, but like with the real world, eventually I'll move on. There's a nice John Berendt book of reality waiting for me when this is done and after that, who knows.

Friday, October 14, 2005

My Continent, 'Tis of Who?

Number of movies seen since last blog: Uh, I lost count at 10.
Number of Law & Order: CI episodes watched in last two weeks: 8
Number of geographic blunders made this week: 41
Number of books purchased: 2: "The City of Falling Angels" by John Berendt and "The Dark Tower" (does it have to end?) by Stephen King
Number of books read: hahahahahahahaha



And the question of the day comes to us not from history, but another area close to the American Idiot's heart - geography. And that question is: Is Central America part of North or South America?

I, growing up in America the way I did, assumed the only countries in North America were Canada and the U.S. Then a few years ago I shockingly learned that Mexico [insert studio audience gasps here] was also part of our continent and that English as a national language was not actually a pre-req for being part of good ole Norte America. But wait, my shock grew when earlier this year I found out that GREENLAND (which is not actually a country) is also part of N.A.

Well today came a crucial questions from one of my co-workers, "Is Central America part of North America?" A fierce battle of words broke out between reporters (who are not known for their fist fighting). They all immediately drew their Associated Press stylebooks, Webster's dictionaries or World Almanacs - depending on their poison of choice - and started flipping. As it turned out that while these periodicals are fine on the spelling of countries names, whether it's email or e-mail and major exports of Belize, they could tell us nothing about anything we'd actually be looking up.

Finally someone broke out an atlas, which put Central America solidly in the America of the North. There were some nasty words exchanged and some people switched sides, pretending they knew all along that Central America was part of the continent of North America. A few people still held to their solidly South America viewpoint, despite the atlas's clear evidence to the contrary. And then a small contingency of crazies decided to create an eight continent, stating unequivocally that Central America was actually a part of neither North nor South and in fact a continent of its own making.

This, folks, is the American newsroom in the 21st century. Enjoy your snapshot into our lunacy.

With my geography lesson out of the way, I move onto my newest plan: Beach Blogger, the Beach Bunny of the X Generation. I have no plan yet on how to make this a financially feasible lifestyle, but since I clearly am not spending my days stuffing my brain full of important geography, history, science or math, I can dedicate all my brain power to that activity. Any help your brains can provide will be greatly appreciated.