And The Envelope Goes To...

I just saw an ad for some movie. I can't remember what the movie is, but it was billing itself as "The First Oscar-Worthy Film of the Fall."

THE FALL?!

The fall just started last week. ANY film can be the first Oscar-worthy film of the fall when it's the first one out!

I mean, are they serious?

Bucky in the Burbs

So remember all those weeks ago when I wrote about the column I had to submit some sample pieces for and everyone gushed about what a great "voice" I had and how much they loved my columns, etc., etc. And then nothing.

Well that was until now. Yesterday I had an e-mail from the page's editor and she said she had gotten all the levels of approval she needed and everyone was on board with having me writing the column, except my immediate supervisor who would really rather just have me do more employee reviews, I think. (I also, apparently, write amazing employee reviews and so of course the reward for good work is to load me up with more work. So I'll probably have even more of those to do, which is just ridiculous. I feel like such a fraud writing those reviews. I have no idea what I'm doing. And yet, that is exactly what they want, somehow.) But clearly, I have digressed.

So today I had my photo taken for the column. I didn't get much sleep last night due to a totally unrelated reason, but as I was dragging my tired self into the office today I had vision of that Sex and The City where Carrie gets asked to be the covergirl for New York Magazine's 40 and Fabulous or whatever the hell the issue was called, but it wound up being Whatever and Fabulous? and this crappy picture of her without making, dark circles under eyes with a coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other. THAT's what I envision my photo will turn out to be. Though, luckily I convinced the one photographer I get along with really well to take my photo. So I think he'll do right by me.

Anyway, my first column runs October 6. I'll be sending you all the links. I have to keep my page views up. Now all I have to do is decide which column should be my first and tweak it. Probably most of what you read in the future columns you'll first read a version of here, but there's a chance I might throw in some original material too. After all, I want to keep you, loyal readers, on the edge of your keyboard with excitement and anticipation.

Tears of a Mime...

PARIS (AP) — Marcel Marceau, the master of mime who transformed silence into poetry with lithe gestures and pliant facial expressions that spoke to generations of young and old, has died. He was 84.

Did anyone know he was still alive?

The Tabloids Speak For All of Us

Uhm, except everyone I actually know.

Second Stalker: Update

Today, as usual, I was walking the dog when my second stalker - the guy who works for the complex and whose sole job, it seems, is to park his little golf cart somewhere along my dog walking route and then lie in wait while pretending to pick up trash - asks, "Hey, so I wanted to ask, are you single, or..."

I tried to not to sigh. I think I was successful. I quickly answered,"I have a boyfriend." And so instead of saying "OK" or some other typically quick response to such an answer and driving off, Stalker2 says, "I was just wondering, because I've been trying to meet someone and I live talking to you." (Mind you our conversations - are almost entirely one-sided and almost always involved the weather. I'm not sure what kind of conversation he's used to, but it strikes as very bad if what I've just described is enjoyable conversation.) Then he finishes with, "Well let me know if you become single." And he drives off.

Yes, Stalker2, you'll be at the top of the list when I dump my imaginary boyfriend.

This apartment complex is starting to scare me with it's stalkers-per-me ratio.

Brooklyn: Part the first

Though really I haven't lived in New York long enough to make comments like the following, I'm going to anyway.

I'm a little bit embarrassed to admit this, but I thing I have a little crush on Brooklyn Heights. I don't know the exact latitudes and longitudes of this particular neighborhood, but it begins, I believe, in the shadow of the Brooklyn Bridge and heads south to some unknown (to me) point.


I spent the day there today, wandering it's streets, watching kids play in its parks, sitting on its waterfront promenade — which right now isn't all that pretty due to some unsightly piers operated by Port Authority, but I understand that those soon will be demolished and a meandering waterfront park will be put up in its place — window shopping.


We ate brunch at a restaurant called Heights Cafe on Montague Street.

I had a spinach and feta tart that was heavy on the spinach, light on the feta and seemed more quiche-ish than tart-ly to me. My dining companion, who was sporting a hangover, had a cheeseburger and reported it was perfect. So meat beats tarts once again.

I've been here before and I always find it too cute for words. Today we passed a dad and son holding a sidewalk sell. The dad had a dad-sized table in front of him featuring such items as paperback novels and pint glass. The son had a kiddie-sized table in front of him featuring such items as plastic armor and stuffed dinosaurs. Seriously it looked like a sidewalk scene from a movie. It was too perfect.

In addition to being too cute for words, I'm sure it's also too expensive for words to set up a home there, but it's nice to wander it's streets, hang out in its dog parks and daydream.

Danger. Stalker Alert Level: Orange-Red

So my mom befriended my not-as-stalkerish-as-before, downstairs neighbor while my parents were here. (They left at like 2 a.m. this morning, determined to drive straight through, back home. Crazy people!)

Anyway, while I was off working the last two days, she would take the dog outside where he would play with the other dogs. My mom will talk to a wall, as will my downstairs neighbor. So they struck up a conversation and the next thing I know my mom is promising to send a package of cookies back with me for him when I go home over Christmas.

Traitor! She's supposed to helping discourage the stalker-y behavior. You just KNOW this is going to take a lot of damage control to fix!

A mini break

My parents are visiting this means there will be a lack of posts as I try not to kill my mom who keeps insisting I eat more and study more. I'm taking a quick break right now while they've been distracted by Gunsmoke on the television to check my e-mail, pay bills, etc.

They leave this weekend, so hopefully, soon I'll be back to providing valuable insight into New York living. I know, I know. It's hard to live without, but I'm sure you will survive.

In the meantime I'll leave you with this little tidbit I learned from my Spanish book this week. There are more Puerto Ricans living in New York City than live in San Juan.

Sharks Galore

Following up on the original shark stories, The New York Daily News had made mention of a second shark sighting her in NY.

The summer of '07 came to an end on Coney Island yesterday with an only-in-New York fish story: meet the city lifeguard who saved - a shark.

Tender-hearted muscleman Marius Mironescu rescued a 2-foot sand shark from a mob of panicked swimmers, grabbing the wriggling fish in his arms and - in a neat reversal of the usual scenario - swimming out to sea with the stunned animal.

"There must have been 75 to 100 people circled around the shark in the water and they were bugging out," said Mironescu, 39, of Brooklyn.

"They were holding on to it and some people were actually hitting him, smacking his face. Well, I wasn't going to let them hurt the poor thing," he said.

He carried the shark - a baby, he reckons, and harmless to humans - to a less populated area and started backstroking out to sea, dragging the shark with one hand.

"He was making believe like he's dead, then he wiggled his whole body and tried to bite me. He didn't get it," Mironescu said.

A lifeguard since 1985, Mironescu has never dealt with a shark before.

After a relatively uneventful summer, the weekend was packed with sharks. A small one was seen at South Beach in Staten Island on Sunday, following the 5-foot thresher shark that startled swimmers at Rockaway Beach on Saturday before its lifeless body washed ashore the next day.

"We had a little bit of a punctuation mark at the end of summer with 'Jaws' junior showing up and frightening people," said Adrian Benepe, the city parks commissioner.

In all, about 16 million people visited New York City's beaches this season, and another 1.4 million splashed in its 52 outdoor pools.

At Coney Island, Joana Vasquez, 12, had mixed feelings about the end of summer.

"I'm happy to be starting school because I get to see my friends," she said. "I'm not happy because I don't get to go to the beach anymore."



And because that wasn't enough, The New York Post had yet another shark on record:

September 4, 2007 -- The "Jaws" drama in the Rockaways over the weekend nearly had a terrifying prequel - as a maneating mako shark was caught just a mile off the shore.

Two veteran fisherman reeled in the 200-pound predator after a nearly one-hour fight near the Rockaway reef.

"It was one tremendous, 51/2-foot shark," said John Doyle Sr., 62, who tied it to the side of the boat with pal Dennis Mannarino, 56.

"We fought this fish back and forth. It was a great fight."

Mannarino added, "He was nasty. He opened his mouth. That's when we really got nervous. He had about 300 teeth - fuhgeddaboutit!"

As news of Wednesday's mako catch spread, Rockaway lifeguards said they were told to keep an eye out in case any of its cousins made it closer to shore.

The Parks Department did not return a call for comment.

Meanwhile yesterday, a 14-inch sand shark was reeled in on Coney Island.

"Everybody got out when he caught that," said witness Smith Yanez.

New York Aquarium shark expert Hans Walters said he's not surprised that sharks are coming to coastal waters, but admitted that the ferocious mako is rare for this area.

"It is a little unusual to me that somebody caught a mako shark that close to shore," he said.

But Walters noted that while "those teeth could do a lot of damage," they are more likely to "bite people when they haul them into their boats."

A day after Doyle's catch, another pair of fishermen a mile from the beach reeled in a thresher shark similar in size to the one that gave beachgoers a scare when it washed ashore Saturday on Rockaway Beach. Saturday's shark returned to the beach the next day and died.

City swimmers shrugged off any dangers the thresher sharks might pose to them ever since news of the beached fish broke, but their opinions changed yesterday when they were told a mako was part of the mix.

"A mako shark? That's scary," said Maria Valez, who had been swimming with her two children, 8 and 11. "I'm going to start taking my kids to a pool."

Petra Petrano, 24, added, "I'm so glad summer's over. I don't want to swim with sharks."

Bad, Ad Man! Bad! No commission for you!

Courtsey of AP:

A member of a Riverside newspaper’s advertising staff was arrested in connection with a garage sale advertisement placed in its classified pages promising that proceeds would go to a “memorial fund” for District Attorney Rod Pacheco. The man, Chandler W. Cardwell, 32, was booked Saturday on suspicion of making terrorist threats and possession of a concealed firearm. Mr. Cardwell was a member of the East Side Riva street gang, against which Mr. Pacheco had recently announced a crackdown, said Chief Russ Leach of the Riverside police. Mr. Cardwell was arrested after the authorities carried out search warrants at the newspaper, The Press-Enterprise, and discovered that his cellphone had been used to order the advertisement, the authorities said.

Last Day of Summer

In New York, everyone (EVERYONE) considers Labor Day as the last day of summer. The close the swimming pools, kids go back to school, everyone goes back to work from their summer vacations come the Tuesday after Labor Day.

It's strange to me to witness this because in the South, especially the Deep South where I grew up, summer stretches to October...long past the official start of fall and return to school. And it's not unheard of for summer weather to continue straight through Halloween. How many of us haven't sweated up a Halloween costume as a child. (I've noticed as I've gotten older that the adult costumes seem to be growing smaller, so that, unless you're an executioner, your freezing your fanny off at parties. Actually, now that I think of it, I'm SURE there's a "sexy executioner" costume out there. So you probably freeze no matter what you wear.)

As the end of summer, Labor Day is a huge day to blow out your end of summer outdoors. About a million people were at the apartment complex pool, cooking out at the grills or just at various festivals and other outdoor events. I spent the day cleaning and waiting. I was supposed to go to a riverfront festival about three miles away from my home but by the time my "date" showed up, the fireworks that ended the last day of the festival had already started. I did get in a little drinking on the stoop with my neighbors. So I guess it wasn't all that bad. Plus my apartment is super clean, right now.

Summer at Shea

Last weekend I spent much of my time at Shea Stadium watching the Mets first beat the Dodgers and then suffer an embarrassing loss to the same team. It's one of the aspects of baseball that I find fascinating - that the same teams can play three/four nights in a row and it's like watching totally different teams play...I mean, in a way, they ARE different teams because different players are cycled in, but still. That you can totally dominate a team one day and the very next lose spectacularly. That doesn't happen in any other sport.

Anyway, I've seen the Mets play before, but this is my first time at Shea, which soon will be demolished and the team will move next door to Citi Field. It's a corporate sponsorship (Citi Bank), but people seem not as ticked off at it as they could be because they can convince themselves that Citi seems to, sort of, kinda make reference to NYC.

More photos from my camera phone follow. Warning, not the best quality.

Sharks in NY? Who knew?

A Rockaways beach (in Queens) was closed Saturday afternoon after a shark washed up on the shore.

Park officials say a shark washed up on the shore this morning near Beach 109th Street.

Some beach-goers approached the creature and pushed it back into the water.

As a result, the Parks Department has closed the beach and the surrounding bay.

For more check out The New York Daily News story.