Long Days and Nights, Penguin Style

Number of Wonder Woman episodes watched: 5
Number of twirls within the episodes: 36
Number of movies watched: 5
Number of movies involving penguins watched: 1
Number of books read: 1 (Finally finished Wizard and Glass)
Number of books started: 2
Number of those books involving anything approaching intellectual leanings: 0


My march toward intellectual enlightenment has gone perhaps a nonmeter since last week. I did watch that penguin documentary everyone's going on about. It left me with two very strong thoughts. 1)Penguins are crazy and should just pack up and move to Florida like everyone else. 2)Someone needs to make a documentary about the documentary. I would like to know how those crazy Frenchies made the damn thing. Did they camp out there in -80 degree weather in their little orange hoodies, huddling with the likewise crazy penguins (who were clearly wondering what all these strange, large, orange penguins were on about). Did they have some sort of mobile home on ice with portable generator and endless supplies of gasoline, Hotpockets and card games? And most importantly how the hell did they pee out there?

Anyway, penguins and Frenchmen aside, my week was once again a terribly uneventful waste of life. I serve absolutely no purpose in life unless God actually IS spelled backwards and I was put here to serve and shelter his true chosen ones. I have four of them living here. Two wandered up off the streets, one came from a shelter in Texas, the other from a shelter in Tennessee. They join one very pissed off cat, who is too old for this crap - at least that what she keeps telling me. I really am beginning to feel that I'm nothing more than a housekeeper for pets and that I have no greater purpose. I am losing my ability to communicate with humans and will soon speak only dog, cat and journalize. You'll be able to track the demise of verbal abilities through this blog.

This brings me to my stopping point, as I believe one of the herd need my assistance in the kitchen - perhaps fetching a nice crispy dog bone or a not quite dead mouse. Or then again, he or she might just be inviting the penguins to come live with us.

History Grade: F-

Books Bought This Week: 0
Books (excluding comics) Read This Week: 1/4 (Wizard and Glass by Stephen King)
Books (including comics) Read This Week: 3 1/4
Movies Watched This Week: 1
Episodes of Gilmore Girls Watched This Week: 6
History Questions Missed This Week: 1
History Questions Asked This Week: 1


I read in the New York Times today that the amount of television I watch is directly tied to my knowledge of U.S. history. I think by my tally above, you'll find the NYT is right. I, like most of the interviewed graduates of Top 10 universities did not the answer to the following question, which had MULTIPLE CHOICES:

Who was the American general at the Battle of Yorktown?
A) William Sherman B) Ulysses Grant C) Douglas MacArthur D) George Washington.

The answer, of course (I can say that now that I know the answer), is D.

I, idiotically chose B. Grant at Yorktown? What was I thinking?

So to make myself feel worse about my American education I will be taking any history questions you have for me and keep a running tally of my lack of U.S. knowledge. This should be particularly amusing to Satchel who is an Americanist in his PhD history program and who I believe is the only person reading this blog.