I have a job. I got a call this morning — it woke me up, actually — offering me the job and I've been crying about it ever since. I can be emotional at odd times. I cannot, for the life of me, cry at a funeral. Then randomly, at the wedding of a complete stranger, tears. Also, annoyingly, I cry when I'm super pissed off. But that is neither here nor there.
I'm heartbroken because choosing this job means I have to give up my relationship of five months. Five months — just long enough to really like someone, start to get comfortable with them, accept their annoying habits and focus on the positive attributes, start to depend on their company, etc. NOT long enough to fall in love and move to a new city with them because THEY got a job in Charlotte, N.C. Charlotte, N.C. — just far enough away NOT to be able to drive there for a weekend visit, just close enough to feel like you should be able to. I wish Amtrack and JetBlue did Frequent Buyer Cards, like coffee shops do: Buy 9 trips, get the 10th for free.
Five months is long enough to spend an entire day agonizing over the decision on what to do until your brother sends you a text message that says, "What are you? Stupid? You can't give up a job just to move to a city with a guy. What if you break up in a month? Then you have no job and no boyfriend." So I called up the HR person and accepted the job to her voicemail. Then I hung up and started crying again. I pretty sure I'm not in love, but I can't tell any more.
He said, "Everything just feels like bad timing." And I couldn't agree more.
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