Knock, knock: New neighbors calling with apple pie and a copy of the Watchtower

So, we have Jehovah's Witnesses in our basement.

Two sisters moved in not too long after I acquired a roommate and my stalker downstairs neighbor moved out. My roommate and I were confused at first by the nature of their relationship. Were they poor friends like us and oddly had a similar living situation? Did one girl sleep in the living room? We wondered if they were a lesbian couple or maybe only one lived there and the other was just over ALL THE TIME. But then recently we met their mother and it turns out, they're sisters. It also turns out that they spend their free time knocking on peoples doors with copies of The Watchtower tucked under their arms.

The news of the Jehovah's Witness infestation has been all the buzz at our complex. People are quietly upset because they all think there will now be constant knocking on our doors on the weekends. At first when one of my gossipy neighbors told me, I didn't believe it. The girls seemed too modern, their shorts too short. They had a Yorkie, for goodness sakes! But after talking to their mom, it turns out they are indeed Jehovah's Witnesses. They're from Virginia.

The only other Jehovah's Witness I actually know used to be one of my reporters and I was just as shocked to find out she was a JW as I was about these girls. The ex-reporter was also from the South, from South Carolina to be exact. I'm not sure what it is about the south that breads JWs, but I guess that's where most of them seem to come from. Of course, the ones who used to come to my door on Saturdays looked nothing like these girls. They tended to be frumpy middle-aged women in very sensible shoes. There was a certain look to them and the look did not say Gap.

I have to admit that I don't know much about JW except they don't celebrate birthdays or holidays and I feel they are a little cultish and that bothers me. It bothers me more when they seem so normal, like the girls in the basement or the ex-reporter. But I guess that may just add to the cultishness of it in the end. I mean, who would join a cult of middle-aged frump women? That would just be too sad for words.