My War and Mr. Bush

I don't know why the President hates me so much. I have a sneaking suspicion that it goes back to the time when I embarrassed him on the all powerful Jackson local news back in '99. But if that's the case then he must hate a lot of people because he's looked the fool on TV a lot.

The last time he got a crazy hair and wanted to prove how much he hated me, he decided, "Oh. I'm very interested in the Mississippi governor's race, so I'll go to the town where Bucky works and give a stump speech on the days she has off, ruining about two weeks of her life and the mini-holiday her friend was in town on. Yes, then I'll let a crazy woman almost kill me with her car."

I had only just recovered from that 2003 visit when he decided last week to come to the Bluff city. He just left an hour ago. I know this, not because I had to write endless news stories...that thankfully fell to someone else this visit...I know because for the last two days his motorcade had been mocking me by driving back and forth in front of my office and making my trips from work to home, which "coincidently" coincides with the motorcade route, a living hell.

Last night, for example, I got stuck at Walgreen's for two hours so he could make it from the airport to the Peabody where he shacked up with the ducks. I think they should have taken him up Airport Road to Lamar, let him see all the people who could care less about Social Security because they're more concerned about little things like food. But then again I was also the one subjected to two hours of the 80s greatest soul hits in Muzak format while memorizing the many flavors of toothpaste last night. So I may be a little bias on that front.

Anyway, he's gone now and I hope to have a long nap when I get home but I suspect there will be some President-created drama for me to deal with when I attempt to get there. I doubt he's done fucking with me just yet.

You'd think as Leader of The Once Free World he'd have better things to do with his time.

But you'd be wrong.