New Year's Eve Eve ponderings

One of my reporters called me today to invite me to a New Year's Eve bash at her boyfriend's apartment. She said, "I wasn't sure if you had plans, but I wanted to invited you over. There will be lots of booze."

This was very nice since a) of course I have no plans and b) I now will not have to discover what happens when one drinks an entire bottle of champagne by oneself.

But then she added, "Matt (her boyfriend) says bring a date. Oh and Mike (his roommate) says bring a date for him." Laughter. Then she goes on to say that I should feel free...in fact encouraged to bring friends. This has given me pause because now I feel like if I go I'm SUPPOSED to bring at least one friend. But here's the thing — I don't have any friends. Not here. Not real friends. Not the kind you call up and invite to parties.

What I have here are pre-existing friends, mostly from graduate school, almost all from journalism (though not necessarily still practicing) all of whom are married with children. I have two ex's; not married, with children (well, one each). And then I have the new people I've met who either live in my apartment complex, are students that I've tutored or work with me. I'm close to none of them.

So I've been here a year and a half and I'm beginning to wonder what is wrong with me. I would like to blame it on my job or suburban living but I'm beginning to think those are just excuses. Am I a less friendly person? Am I more hesitant to just invite myself along or break into conversation with people? I think it is I that must be different, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Could I just be tired of meeting new people?

Should I make a new year's resolution to make new friends? That makes me sound like I'm 10. But it would be nice to have people to call up and say, "Would you like to go for coffee?" And it would be nice to have them call me up and ask if I'd like to go out for a drink or 12.

And, anyway, when you are in your 30s with no hobbies and you work nights, including Fridays and Saturdays, how do you meet people that don't work in the same office as you? We don't even share a building with other businesses, so you have the chance of meeting folks in the hallway. This new phase of my career is very insular, isn't it? Any thoughts, blogosphere?