Damn Dirty Machines

Applying for job has become such a soul-less affair. You sit in front of a computer and search for job listings. Then you apply online. There are specific directions not to call, least you be banned forever from ever working for that company. According to the automated response, due to the high volume of applications received for everything from coffee girl at the local hospital cafeteria to content creator at ESPN.com, no one will contact you unless your resume is somehow magically chosen. And now, NOW your resume isn't even viewed by humans any more. Computers look at the experience on your resume and see how it matches up with the job requirements. Can you believe that?

How is a computer going to understand that my decade of experience in the land of journalism is actually very good training for that job in the public affairs office at West Point. That in fact, yes, since I worked as an assigning editor, I do actually know what assigning editors are looking for in a press release in order to turn it into an actual story, in order to get that ink that you so desperately need to justify the entire existence of the public affairs department. That as someone who actually worked as a reporter, I know how important it is to get the releases to the right person and not just assume that someone who worked there five years ago is still at the paper. No. What the computer will see is that I've never worked as a public affairs officer before and therefore must have no idea how the job is done. But do you know who really has no idea how the job is done? Public affairs officers. Because they've NEVER ACTUALLY WORKED IN THE MEDIA AND THEREFORE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CONSTITUTES A NEWS STORY!!!!

I did actually send my application in for the afore mentioned job at West Point (and ESPN.com — though haven't yet gotten desperate enough to apply for the coffee girl spot....I do like coffee, though). I'm now trying to work out exactly how to get that resume in front of an actual person. My dad had an idea that at first I though was dumb, but now I think might just be brilliant. He said I should write my U.S. Senator and Congressman — and write them all. The ones from New York AND the ones from Mississippi. And you know, he might be on to something. I mean, I don't think there's a snowballs chance in hell that Chuck Schumer or John Hall are going to call up West Point and say, "Hey will someone please just look at this girl's resume." But I do think the odds are fairly good that Thad Cochran might make a move in that direction. I mean, I'm not expecting him to get me a job at West Point, but the man forced the V.A. hospital to take my dad on as a patient after they had told him several times the waiting list was so long it'd be eight years before he might have a chance to get in. He is not above the minutia of his job. And he strikes me as just the type of person to be as pissed off as I am that a computer is picking who gets a job and who doesn't in the federal government.

Didn't we learn anything from "The Matrix," people? We can't let the machines win.