Taking a break from the political landscape that I hardly ever write about, I'd like to get back to a more important issue that the pundits and public should be engaged in right now, namely, the dead mouse in my pantry.
That's right, living in an old building as I do, we have the great joy of frequent mousy visitors who apparently take great pleasure from dying in our walls and closets. Right now there is quite obviously a dead mouse in the kitchen pantry somewhere (if you put your nose to the computer screen I think you'll actually be able to smell its demise), and a debate has been raging in the household on where said smell is coming from and was the death a natural one (cat attack) or unnatural (all that rat poison the landlord keeps putting in the basement).
The accepted facts are 1) something is dead 2) it is most likely a mouse since we find them dead quite often in our flat and 3) the dead, alleged mouse is most probably located somewhere stage left in the pantry, so deemed by the scientific method of that's where the bad smell is strongest.
So tonight, boys and girls, we face the very unpleasant task of removing every item from the pantry in a quest to find the DM. It is my great hope that I will not be the one to find it. In my life I've had to discover the rotten-potato-behind-the microwave-with-maggots and the dead-kitten-in-the-kitchen (not making either of those up) so I think my life-time quota of dead and disgusting things has been reached. It is now someone else's turn to do the finding.
Please wish us luck and God Bless the U.S.A. and also football.
3 comments:
Just hope you don't have to take a saw to the dry wall and cut a hole so you can reach in and grab the corpse in order to give it a proper burial. If you must do this, wear gloves.
Move. Seriously. Your in a red state anyway. Leave them and their red mice. (*&)*#$) Reds.
The good news is, when I got home to do the dead mouse hunting the smell had gone away. And it has stayed away. So I decided not to search for what may or may not be there since it no longer smells. And my new motto is: What I do not smell, does not exist.
But I do need to move.
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