In honor of my approaching 30th birthday and thus my leave-taking of the "all important under 30 readership group," I will now rededicate my blog to the pursuit of the betterment of newspapers worldwide by offering them free advice from this under 30 on how to attract us.
Today's topic: Free Stuff.
Under 30s love free stuff. Even those of us who now have money to buy the stuff we want, still act like we're in college. Our homes are filled with crap we don't need -- vinyl bags, orange and green makeup samples, too large t-shirts, clocks that worked for all of 20 seconds and then promptly broke after we finally figured out how to set the correct time, socks made of recycled newspaper. We love it all! We can't get enough of it. Gimme Gimme Gimme!
Give us free stuff and we will follow you into the bowls of hell. Give us free stuff and we will rise up against our common sense and check the box that says, "Yes. Sign me up for 260 months of daily news coverage!" Learn from magazines. Learn from infomercials. Learn from Subway and the Frequent Sub Club.
Free stuff.
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1 comment:
I turned 30 a few (6) months ago. I did notice a huge change in my daily newspaper. But I think it was just my perception.
I realized that the news is all crap, the bullshit continues and I am 30 years old.
30 years old means you can no longer hit on 20-something girls without feeling a little old-mannish about it. Definitely no 18-year-olds anymore, not that I would.
Now that I'm in my 30s, i feel that I need to find a woman in her 30s.
But all the women in their 30s have been married for about four years, divorced for two years and have 1 to 3 children. I don't want to date a woman with some other guy's kids. Sorry ladies. You screwed the pooch. Should have divorced before you brought another life into this world.
Anyways, I now read the newspaper and it all about kids and schools and stuff that mothers are all about and I am like: "god, I'm old and decrepit."
So I wish the newspaper would go back to being what it was when I was 29. You're very lucky, bucky, being 29 and such.
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