Up until now, the record holder for "Worst Pickup Line Ever Used on Me" was a guy in the Library in Baton Rouge (a bar, for those of you who are too young to remember or were never there to begin with), who said to me one night, "You have great hands. You must be a writer."
But great hands man has meet a very strong challenger in yelling from a van man whom I had the pleasure(?) of meeting(?) Thursday night as I was driving home from work on my Vespa.
We're stopped at a stop light on a winding two-lane route that connects the southwestern part of my county to the central north-south artery, Route 9. I'm at the light. The van behind me. When I hear: "Hey! Do you pick up hitchhikers?"
I turn around and hanging out the passenger side window of this old, white van (from the waist up is out the window) is a a 20- 30-ish something guy who looks like maybe he likes going on tour with Widespread Panic. I am used to getting a lot of chatter on my Vespa. People run across parking lots to ask me what kind of gas mileage I get. How fast it goes. How much did it cost. I get stranger questions and comments and even chat up lines as well. But I think so far this is the most bizarre incident to date.
I simply said, "No. No spare helmet." To which the van man replied, "Oh. Too bad then."
And then thankfully the light changed.
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3 comments:
If only I had the amount of Vespa tail that you waste...
And I don't see why you need to disparage the perceptiveness of great hands Library Joe.
Is your mama a thief? Cause she stole all the stars and put 'em in your eyes.
Hmm, I don't think Library Joe was the dude that said great hands...it was some other barfly. (Also NOT The Old Man from The Bayou, who sometimes would go next door to The Library. Actually, I don't think I ever heard the Old Man from The Bayou speak...though he did attend a Halloween party at my apartment once...along with the rest of the bar.)
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